Life went back to normal with work and socializing and I kept at the gym. I got a sense of happiness from it, it was something I actually got to know and love. However, after my trek, there was something in me that had opened…an energy that glowed and I was buzzing. I didn’t want this feeling to end – I need more; another challenge. I would find myself thinking what can I do next?
I found myself on a lazy Sunday afternoon writing action plans for what I wanted in my life and what I wanted to explore more of for my career, where I wanted to travel, how I wanted to grow as a person and what I wanted from a partner. Little did I know the action plans would help me later on in life; back then they were just lists but as time went by, they became my reality.
A close friend rang one day to say she was taking a job in Cardiff and over time, I started to visit more and more. A year went by and I was liking it and wanted more. Was this my new challenge that was emerging?
September 2007 and my decision was made – I was moving to Cardiff! My emotions were all over the place but something inside me knew this was right. I was leaving my friends and family behind and really taking on my biggest challenge yet – new city, new job, having to make new friends – was I taking on too much? Something was motivating me to make this change, something was pushing me into this direction – I believed my mum could see me – I needed to make her proud. I need to live life to the full and it was time for me to move on.
Arriving in Cardiff was exciting, new and daunting. Here I was in the middle of a city on a Sunday evening, starting my new job tomorrow. An overwhelming feeling of nerves took over and I felt sick. After my first week in work things started to settle; I would email and phone my friends at home regularly but it was time to really start making a life for myself in a new place. I moved into a flat share which I really enjoyed but my social life that once was in Swindon; out with friends most evenings was suddenly very different – I realized how alone I really felt. I signed myself up for a beauty course in the evenings as another way to meet new people and get myself out and about. Every day I was living something new, whether it be to meet more new people or to find yet another new destination. Nervous and anxious emotions arose most days.
Months went by and I was really settling into my new life, despite the anxious moments, I was loving it! As I told my story wherever I went, people would ask what brings you to Cardiff? I simply replied just me! It really was just that – I knew I wanted to live life to the full. I had a determination in me to succeed in a new adventure, keeping my mum in my heart the whole time. Don’t get me wrong, it was not an easy decision; I had lots of great friends and my family in Swindon that I would have to sacrifice leaving behind. However, this wasn’t just for me; this was for my mum too. Something clicked and I noticed I was starting to achieve a goal I had set out to do – live life to the full for her - just as I had thought at 15. Always believing my mum can see me, thoughts began to travel through my mind about setting more goals. I’d done my trek which felt great, and now I’d moved my whole life. What else could I possibly do? My mind had expanded to ideas and places I couldn’t have dreamt of years prior and I found myself thinking, what else is out there for me to discover or achieve? What else can we discover together?
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